So this year is a big year for me. This is my last year in my 20s. So true to Jenny form I have made a bucket list for 30.

1. Complete a Full marathon
- run a half marathon in 2 hr and 30min
2. See Wicked Live
3. Lose 20 lbs
4. Lead a dance at Zumba
5. Go to Hawaii
- wear a bikini
- go on lost tour
- go snorkeling
- go to luau
- meet Dogg the Bounty Hunter
6. Blog more
7. Read through the bible

Heres to a great year :-)

Now I realize that these are some

Love in Patience

Love is Patient.

You will find these as the first few words of 1 Corinthians 13:4 that we all have heard time and time again.

I could quote the scripture at a drop of the hat. (Obviously I’m super spiritual J)

Yet for the first time I’m seeing it in a different light.

Merriam-Webster Defines Patient as:

1: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

2: manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

3: not hasty or impetuous

4: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

5a : able or willing to bear —used with of

I always thought to show my love as patient I actually had to be will the person I am being patient with.

Yet I think it starts before the person is even in my life.

I think showing love is being patient enough to guard and protect my heart, my body, and my mind as I wait. I think its “bearing” with my singleness not only with out complaint but with victory. Running after the God who is the only one who can complete me anyway.

I think its using my hands to help and reach out to others instead of crying that there is no one to hold it.

I think its loving and serving those around me.

I think its doing everything to the excellence of God and being a tool that he can use to change things around me.

I don’t think being patient has to do with just sitting there doing nothing but rather loving the man enough before I meet him to be everything God created me to be.

So I love him enough to wait, because I know every second is worth it.

Remembering Part 2 England- September

So right out of High School a really scared little 18 year old got on a plane and headed to the UK. I know that alone was an act of God because I never was the adventurous type.

In fact I was very shy. Incredibly shy. SERIOUSLY shy. In fact in school anytime we were asked to do a presentation I started shaking so bad the teacher actually asked if I was having a seizure. I could barely breathe if a teacher called on me in class and I remember several classes skipping the oral presentation and taking an F just so I wouldn’t have to get in front of the class. People terrified me.

So imagine my surprise when the first day of our Evangelism Team (Called the Hub Team back then) when I was told that we would be doing our first presentation in a couple days in front of over 500 people. Some people take baby steps to getting over there fears I took a head on collision crash course.  God strengthened me and a few days later I was in front of 500 people speaking about the Life that only God can bring….granted there was a little bit of  voice breaking that went with that…but the information was shared.  A miracle was done in my life.

A few days later the team was gathered and we were told we are going to do something called a “Power Hour” basically the gist is that we would pray and go out on the streets for an hour and pray, prophesy and preach to people on the streets. Now I would love to say that I got on the street corner and preached to everyone I saw…because I didn’t but I was overwhelmed with a sense to pray like I never have before. As I prayed I saw people crying and panic taking place. I never had felt such a heaviness in my spirit. I walked home and asked my roommate to pray with me because I was so overwhelmed by everything. So we prayed. After that I walked back to our center and I noticed that everyone was in our pastors office watching TV. I just kept walking and then one of leaders told me that I might want to come and see this. I watched as the second tower fell. The day was September 11, 2001 and when I was praying was about the time the first tower was hit.

I don’t know what the prayers did that day, but never had I felt the urgency that I felt on that day and at that time.

Remembering

So one of the stories I’ve always been able to be challenged by is the story of the Israelites and their journey and life after Egypt. God had done so much for them to get them out of slavery, he led them day and night, and fed them with food from heaven and yet they kept complaining.

They forgot what God had done for them. They forgot how faithful he’s been to them and first chance they got they made something they felt could give them more joy and completion.

I’ve been really challenged lately by remembering…I always thought that remember was bad because you can’t live your life in the past, so I just don’t look back and in some ways just right off the journey and story of God’s faithfulness in my life.

So in my blog for a bit I’m going to give glory to God over the things I have seen in my already in my short life….not in a way of trying to live in those moments…but believe that I can see them again.

Bible Week July 1997

It was a time of a great move of the spirit and in our youth meeting ( I somehow got in although I felt really young for it). I felt barely saved on many aspects. I looked around the room and their were many cultures around me that I wasn’t used to. We had people from New Jersey, Indiana, Michigan, California, Illinois.  I remember one of the leaders getting on the microphone and saying that there are people in the audience that God has really moved on their hearts to receive the gift of healing for people. *

All of a sudden I found myself up at the front of the line desperate to pray for people, and I did. I don’t remember all the people I prayed for or what I said but God used me. I remember quickly after that I was worshiping God and he really stirred me to go pray from this tough looking girl with her arms crossed and standing in the back crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. I remember thinking umm…no way God. I will get knocked out I can’t do that. Then I opened my eyes and realized I was standing right in front of her. I remember asking if I could pray for her and she just shrugged. Then I watched as the spirit of God came heavy down on her as she fell to her knees in tears and surrender. I don’t remember what I said to her but I know that her friend came up to me later and said that exactly what was prayed over her was what was going on in her life. God used me even in my ignorance. I didn’t know all the theology or understood completely what was going on but he used an open heart and showed me what he could do when I was open to him. 

*Background information on teenage Jenny: I wasn’t at all a very outgoing person. I really didn’t like to be noticed and preferred to be a spectator. I didn’t have the words to say to people or anything to give I felt.

The Church: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Church. Its something that can just the word alone can be offensive, a four letter word of sorts. “It’s a place of hypocrites.” It’s a bunch of “holier than though people.” “It’s a bunch of judgmental Fanatics.”

It’s a place that has brought great pain to some. And great healing to others.

I know, I’ve seen it, I’ve been hurt by it, I’ve hurt others in it.

It wasn’t too long ago that I came to the realization that in church I am surrounded by people just like me. Sometimes seeing a mirror of yourself is not always the most flattering thing. For every fault I could find in the person offending me…I quickly saw myself making the same offense to someone else.

The difference was I had all the grace for me but held the other person on such a high standard that they had no choice but to fail.

Somewhere along the way I forgot that church is a group of PEOPLE. People who are walking through their spiritual journey, going through the same refiners finer as me. Maybe I may be a littler further along in one area and the Lord has dealt with me in that. Who am I then to point out that the person beside me isn’t as far as me….God knows I very well may be several steps behind in another area that that individual overflows with.

Somewhere we forgot to have grace for one another. Instead of just seeing peoples strengths we are so quick to see their weakness and their shortcomings. We get so mad at their immaturity and instead of coming along side them and learning from each other we are so quick  to tell someone else so we can all marvel at our greatness.

I am so humbled as I write this. I get mad at splits in groups and churches and yet I see in my lack of grace, my lack of dying to myself, I have torn things with my own hands. I have been the hypocrite that I get so mad at.

See it’s the greatest trick the enemy uses. We learn to despise the thing that makes us great. When a church truly operates in all its differences, it all its giftings, When a person who has conquered one area in their life is paired beside someone who needs to see victory, when a person who is prideful is paired with the example of humility…it’s a beautiful thing.

If we learned to pray and ask God to help us see those people beside us through his eyes instead of our own…can you imagine how effective we could be?

A Year In Review

2010 was a year of extreme growth but with growth comes the trials that cause the growth. Part of me hates the pains of this year but at the same time I love the view from this year’s finish line.

I started the year out with heartache that led to further heartache and at the same time dealt with medical complications that was beyond what I would have ever imagined. I said many goodbyes this year. I saw the bottom.

Yet in the midst of the bottom I discovered the love of God. In my pain I felt my Heavenly Father hold me. I felt his forgiveness, his strength, his peace and his hand on my life in ways that I have never been so aware of.

And in his goodness I’m already seeing how he is using the mistakes of my past for his Glory. For the first time I’m seeing other people and their pain instead of focusing on my own.

I ran my 2^nd Half-marathon this fall. It was an amazing and painful experience as I journey literally from my new house and the new stage it represents back to my old. God spoke to me through the pain of every step. Through the highs and lows, and the overwhelming view of all the people cheering me to finish the race and fight the good fight. I was surprised at the strength I felt as I finished.

I am a blessed woman that through this whole time have had people praying for me, friends and family standing beside me, and cheering me on to live the life that I was called to live. To not settle for anything less than Gods best.

The best is that there are a lot of chapters still to be written and Gods strength to bring me to even deeper relationship with him.

For the first time in awhile I’m truly excited to see what 2011 holds.

Waiting

Its something that nothing of us like to do. In fact…I detest it.

In our society waiting is just not acceptable. We scream while we are in traffic, we freak out if there are two people ahead of us in line at the store. We are the microwave generation.

Lets face it ….Waiting is hard.

I was sharing my heart with one of my dear friends at a party and she encouraged me that God is planning something big for me with this time of waiting. As I heard her speak I was reminded of my Grandfather and his last conversation with me, imploring me to wait for the best and not to settle. (Which is huge because he wasn’t known for his sentimental conversations.)

As I was driving home one the radio I heard a voice speaking directly to me.

“Jesus understands you waiting woes. He understands how hard it is to want something so bad but it just not the time for it. Jesus came as a baby. He had all the shepards the first night and the wise man a few years later but what about the 30 years of waiting. He knew what was his destiny from the beginning and yet he had to go through the phases of life. He understands the pain and hardships of waiting. But look at what resulted from the waiting. During this holiday season remember hold out for God’s best. Don’t settle. “

Yeah…

I was speechless too. All I can say is he knows your pain and what you are going through, Whatever you are waiting for, he knows the pain of having all these dreams and desires and not being able to do anything about it…right now. Those dreams are for a reason. Everything Jesus learned in those 32 years no matter how small and insignifant they may had seemed at the time he used for the future. This time is important, use this time to develop your talent, or yourself…don’t waste it wishing that the time was up.